Quotes about Love

"When someone leaves you, apart from missing them, apart from the fact that the whole little world you've created together collapses, and that everything you see or do reminds you of them, the worst is the thought that they tried you out and, in the end, the whole sum of parts which adds up to you got stamped REJECT by the one you love. How can you not be left with the personal confidence of a passed-over British Rail sandwich?" -- from Bridget Jones's Diary by Helen Fielding

"Exes should never, never go out with or marry other people but should remain celibate to the end of their days in order to provide you with a mental fallback position." -- from Bridget Jones's Diary by Helen Fielding

"And she liked me. She liked me. She liked me. She liked me. Or at least, I think she did." -- from High Fidelity by Nick Hornby

"It's brilliant, being depressed; you can behave as badly as you like." -- Nick Hornby (High Fidelity)

"A while back, when Dick and Barry and I agreed that what really matters is what you like, not what you are like, Barry proposed the idea of a questionnaire for prospective partners, a two- or three-page multiple-choice document that covered all the music/film/TV/book bases." It was intended a) to dispense with awkward conversation, and b) to prevent a chap from leaping into bed with someone who might, at a later date, turn out to have every Julio Iglesias record ever made." -- from High Fidelity by Nick Hornby

"What came first -- the music or the misery? Did I listen to music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to music?" -- from High Fidelity by Nick Hornby

"Loneliness has followed me my whole life. In bars and cars, sidewalks, stores, everywhere." -- Travis Bickle aka Robert DeNiro from Taxi Driver

"The plutonic relationship is a lukewarm, sexless waiting room where you sit in an uncomfortable chair, leaf through the same dog-eared copy of People over and over again with the knowledge that your name will never be called." -- F. Tanner Colby.

"Gary was right. Steve did want a girl. He wanted to do the things that Mark and Gary were doing with their girlfriends, the same things he'd done with his in the past, things that went beyond sex, like shopping together, holding hands during a movie, cooking together, a soft perfumed female holding out a wooden spoon with a puddle of sauce in it and a hand below to catch the drippings, as she smiled and poured it into his mouth, warning, 'Be careful, it's hot.' " -- from Geniuses of Crack by Jeff Gomez

"It seemed to John that people in love stopped having the personality they had before love arrived. They morphed into generic "in-love units." John saw both love and long-term relationships as booby traps that would not only strip him of his identity but would take out the will to continue moving on." -- from Miss Wyoming by Douglas Coupland

Marriage: the aftermath of a honeymoon. Happy housewife

"The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference ..." -- Elie Wiesel

"It's been four years since my last date with a whatchoo-call-it, uh, woman." -- Moe Szyslak of Simpsons fame

"When I first started going with Anna-Louise, her friends laser-scanned me with actuarial glances and found me a bit dull -- marriage material. I think they figure that with types like me they can return later, after they've been for a spin around the block." -- from Shampoo Planet, arguably Douglas Coupland's worst novel

"If I was in jail, and I had but one call, I'd phone and tell you that I love you dearly and that I need bail money real bad." -- Ryan Bigge

"My lust felt not so much barred as unrecognized, in the political sense -- if she was Iraq, my lust was Israel." -- from Time For Bed by David Baddiel

"No more boy meets girl boy loses girl. More like man tries to figure out what the hell went wrong." -- from the song "I'm An Adult Now" by Pursuit of Happiness

"Love is just another four-letter word." -- Tennessee Williams

"Men play the game; women know the score." -- Roger Woddis

"Love is two minds without a single thought." -- Philip Barry

"Sometimes I wake up grumpy, sometimes I let her sleep in." -- bumper sticker

"What is a date really, but a job interview that lasts all night? The only difference between a date and a job interview is that in not many job interviews is there a chance you'll wind up naked at the end of it." -- from SeinLanguage, by Jerry Seinfeld

"But though I was, am, extremely single, and though I had suffered a serious attack of loneliness involving a tape gun only hours before, and was probably giving off the same rads of availability and generalized longing as she was, I didn't strike up a conversation with her, because I was smart enough to know by now to spare a woman like this my tentative but occasionally successful pickup technique, since even if we did go out to dinner a few times and have a few nights in bed, it would all be essentially sad, essentially wrong." -- from The Fermata by Nicholson Baker

"We did the clubs what ass, I was hoping to have her in the sack. I was looking handsome, she was looking like an erotic vulture." -- from the song "Subbaculture" by the Pixies

"My ex-girlfriend and I had all the ingredients of a successful marriage. We argued all the time and we never had sex." -- Ryan Bigge

"Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties." -- Jules Renard

"I like clean ladies and nice ladies." -- Lawrence Welk

"Lord! I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing." -- Jonathan Swift

Arghh . . . . I'm not attractive -- Captain McAlister

"It's clear to me now, our love is like Santa Claus. The only ones who believe in it are small children who don't understand how the world really works." -- from the song "Our Love" by Bruce McCulloch

Marriage is a life sentence in which few serve the full term. -- Anon

"Take it from me, marriage isn't a word -- it's a sentence." -- King Vidor

"A slut is a girl that sleeps with everyone but you." -- Internet wisdom

"My ex-girlfriend never got the hang of S&M. She would handcuff me to the bed so as to avoid having sex with me." -- Ryan Bigge

"A man who has never made a woman angry is a failure in life." -- Christopher Marley

"I share my sadness with God above / I'm just a blip on the radar map of love." -- from the song "Country Pumpkin" by Stainless Lap Steel Guitar

"Love is being stupid together." -- Paul Valery

"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come." -- from Love is Hell by Matt Groening

Samantha: How do we know when we fall in love?
Ms.Krabappel: Oh, don't you worry. Most of you will never fall in love and marry out of fear of dying alone. [chuckles]

"It's OK. I'll be alright, if you call a dead soul condemned to swim in a sea of bitter tears for the rest of his life alright." -- Cornfed from Duckman

"Sexuality, is a powerful motive whose satisfaction can be postponed or even abandoned; the animal may be unhappy but it lives. Sexuality, then, unlike hunger, thirst and self-preservation, is the biological motive most capable of displacement from direct satisfaction into more socially acceptable and creative activity, or into neurosis." -- Freud

"Love is a universal migraine. A bright stain on the vision. Blotting out reason." -- Robert Grieves

"God created man and, finding him not sufficiently alone, gave him a companion to make him feel his solitude more keenly." -- Paul Valery

"Love is an incurable malady, like those pathetic states in which rheumatism affords the sufferer a brief respite only to be replaced by epileptiform headaches." -- Marcel Proust

"Mother hid my car keys to punish me for talking to a woman on the phone. She was right to do it." -- Principal Skinner:

"Nothing lasts." -- from the song "Nothing Lasts" by Matthew Sweet

"I have an intense desire to return to the womb. Anybody's." -- Woody Allen

"If I had a girlfriend, she'd kill me." -- Squeaky-voiced teen from the Simpsons

"It's been four years since my last date with a whatchoo-call-it, uh, woman." Moe Szyslak

"Remember my son, the turtle only makes progress when it sticks its neck out." -- Confucius

"All a writer has to do to get a woman is to say he's a writer. It's an aphrodisiac." -- Saul Bellow

"I still dream of lips I never should have kissed." -- Trent Reznor

"I like young girls. Their stories are shorter." -- Thomas McGuane.

"Don't make the mistake of presuming that all dates have to end in a big clinch -- or even a little hearty hand holding. Girls distrust a boy who's a 'grabber'; boys don't stay interested long in an 'easy number.'" -- From Etiquette for Young Moderns by Gay Head

"Blondes have the hottest kisses. Red-heads are fair-to-middling torrid, and brunettes are the frigidest of all. It's something to do with hormones, no doubt." -- Ronald Reagan

"Male sexual response is far brisker and more automatic. It is triggered easily by things -- similar to putting a quarter in a vending machine." -- Alex Comfort

"Nature plays human beings a scurvy trick in allowing a blind instinct to mature before though and insight are sufficiently developed to act as a check." -- from Fruits of the Earth by Frederick Grove

"The experience of depression is often felt as dark and cold -- utterly bleak -- as if subsisting in a cave or a hole. Life loses its sunshine." -- from Talking Back to Prozac by Peter R. Breggin

"The pleasures that come most rarely give the most delight." -- Epictetus

"What a night that was! We talked till three o-clock, complicating our situation with endless scruple, as young people are apt to do, and trying not to hurt each other's feelings." -- from Fifth Business by Robertson Davies

"The single male is that rarest of breed. He is an animal who isn't domesticated, but wishes he was." -- Ryan Bigge

"I love you, but you don't know how to spell." -- from the song "In A Cold Ass Fashion" by Beck

"It's assumed that the woman must wait, motionless, until she is wooed. That is how the spider waits for the fly." -- George Bernard Shaw

Kirk, crackers are a family food. Happy families. Maybe single people eat crackers, we don't know. Frankly, we don't want to know. It's a market we could do without. -- chilling words from the president of Southern Cracker

"By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." --Socrates

"Guys would sleep with a bicycle if it had the right color lip gloss on. They have no shame. They're like bull elks in a field. It's a scent to them, a smell." -- Tori Amos

"When you're young you fool around and sow your wild oats. Then one day you get married and get a library card. It's all downhill from there." -- Overheard at a party

"If love is blind, then I'm willing to learn Braille." -- the Pointed Sticks

"I screwed her and she screwed me but we never once had sex. All we ever had was too much time." From the song "Joyride" by Built to Spill

The fires of passion, uncontrolled by love, will make a man endanger his good name, forget his family, deny his religious training for the mere gratification, in a moment of sensuality, of its insatiable desire for fulfillment. -- Voice of experience

"Is it some little thing I've said?" -- Traditional

"By 'petting' I refer to petting which descends below the shoulders -- to places where unmarried hands do not belong!" -- from The Missing Dimension In Sex by Herbert W. Armstrong

"I'm miserable. I may as well admit it. What do you call it when you hate the woman you love?
A wife?" -- from Sex and the Single Girl, the movie

"Most young men, when first married, have the imagination of rabbits, the romantic capacity of sloths, and the sexual technique of oysters." -- from How To Live 365 Days a Year by John A. Schindler, M.D.

"How important is sex in marriage? Pretty darned important. But it isn't everything." -- from Ann Landers Talks to Teen-agers About Sex

"Marriage, to tell the truth, is an evil, but a necessary evil." -- Menander

"A system could not well have been devised more studiously hostile to human happiness than marriage." -- Percy Bysshe Shelley

"There's nothing better than chocolate . . . when you're single." -- Robert Raposa

"Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love." -- Charlie Brown

"Above all -- be kind. Remember that words are weapons. Choose them wisely. There are dozens of ways of saying the same thing. Spare him." -- from Ann Landers Talks to Teen-agers About Sex

"Men!" -- from Sex and The Single Girl by Helen Gurly Brown

"I have necked with a few fellows, I'll admit, but I am not interested in making friends with the whole school through the Braille system." -- from Ann Landers Talks to Teen-agers About Sex

"Going steady brings familiarity, and familiarity breeds a certain contempt -- in this instance, contempt for chastity, virtue, and honor." -- from The Missing Dimension In Sex by Herbert W. Armstrong

"I'm convinced the only living organism more disgusting than the cockroach is the ex-girlfriend." -- from Name the Baby by Mark Cirino

"Greeting cards routinely tell us everybody deserves love. No. Everybody deserves clean water. Not everyone deserves love all the time." -- from White Teeth by Zadie Smith

"Flirting is a skillful and amusing activity that consists of presenting an enhanced, exaggerated, and somewhat fictional image of oneself to a member of the opposite sex." -- Woman Alive Series