Blast-phemous
From SGZ #7

The 1st Epistole of Paul the Apostle who has a vessel with a pestle and a flagon with a dragon and lives in a palace with a chalice:
For the love of money is the root of all evil. But Paul then sayth: I'll buy you a diamond ring my friend, if it makes yo u feel alright. For I don't care too much for money, for money can't buy me love. I'll give you all I've got to give, if you say you love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I've got I give to you. Can't buy me love... no, no, no, no. (Well, the y did say they were bigger than Jesus, didn't they?)

Book of Jason. The Final Chapter:
And then, just when it seemed that this damn book would end, there came man who walked the earth and preached of a new way of living. He wrote a zine (issue #4) assisted by the three wise men; Bryan, Graeme and Darren. And he went on speaking tours to promote his zine, speaking to great throngs of the faithful and lonely. And he was popular and the crowds formed. And his popularity continued until one day someone proclaimed that "THIS IS THE KING OF THE SINGLE GUYS." Sat isfied that he'd made a difference, he was ready to quit. But people wanted more. And so every few months he would lock himself in a cave and resurrect the zine. And this continued for three issues. But finally he could write no more and on the seventh is sue he rested. For good. And when people heard there would be no more zines there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth. But he gave his followers a farewell speech: "I testify to everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of my zine: if anyone adds to them, Ryan shall add to him the plagues which are written in this zine. And if anyone takes away from the words of the zine of this prophecy, Ryan shall take away his part from the tree of life and from the holy city, which is written in this zine. He wh o testifies to these things say, "Yes, I am coming quickly. The grace of Ryan be with all. Amen.