Graeme Scott Answers Your Mail

Well, as you might expect, the fan mail has been piling up as of late, so I thought it only right and just to answer questions from you, our loyal fans.

What is the greatest experience that you have had as the drummer for the fabulous Plantains?
— C. Cleaver, Vancouver

It was at an after-hours club in a city which shall remain undisclosed, as we are still wanted by their justice department for a number of outstanding offenses and bylaw infractions that we narrowly avoided being prosecuted for. But that's another story. What I can tell you is that the show was hot and sweaty and the air was thick with the smell of temptation. I was breaking the funky beats when all of a sudden, the people just exploded. It was chaos. There was too much Roxygen in the room, and our music provided the spark that ignited the aforementioned chaos. People started going hysterical, as they got naked, danced, reveled. Some even starved. It was like Woodstock, only with a lot less people, much better hair, and only one band.

How do you attain that pure rock n' roll sound?
— T. Duff in Rocky Boy, Montana

The right gear has always been a critical component to The Plantains. I exclusively play Angie's brother-in-law Dave's drums, as well as some cymbals that this guy left at my girlfriend Shireen's house.

I saw your third show. You sold out and jumped on the two-person-in-a-band-bandwagon.
— B. Pierce, Chapel Hill, N.C.

Yes we did. We signed to Dreamworks last week. We met E. But still, it's a small wagon don't you think?

What does it take to be in a great band? I'm just learning to play drums, and I'd like to be in a great band.
— John Petteilli, Hell, Arizona

Dedication. We practice at least once a month, and when we do, we are stupid drunk. Another good idea is to get groupies. They are a symbol of success and will earn the respect of peers. Lie about your age too. Rock n' roll is a young man's game (except perhaps the Rolling Stones) and if your audience realizes that you're the same age, if not older than them, it's over. Finally, be sure to let merchandising, marketing and videos occupy the vast bulk of your time, rather than worrying about "the music." Good luck!

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Read the band's press release.
Band guitarist and lead singer Ryan Bigge's stats.

For more information about The Plantains, contact Ryan Bigge.